Tag Archives: Marriage

Wedding Vows

Wedding couple

The year 2018 was full of new and exciting events in our family, amongst which was the wedding of our youngest daughter, Ruth, to her fiancé, Josh. Not only are weddings great social occasions, when distant family and friends make that special effort to come together, but they are also the start of what we all hope will be a lifelong journey of discovering what being married really means using the promises and vows that you make on that day to be your yardstick.

Later this morning I will be conducting a special service for a couple who are renewing those vows after 50 years of marriage and who want to thank God for the blessings they have received over those years. Of course, vows are not all about expecting only the good things to happen – for better, for richer and in health, but include the possibility of for worse, for poorer and in sickness.

Entering marriage knowing that it will bring the likelihood of both opposites means that you can be prepared to weather the difficult times and celebrate the joyous ones, because underpinning it all will be the love that first brought you together

 And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three;
and the greatest of these is love
1 Corinthians 13:13

The love that you have for each other; the love of your family and friends; the love that God blesses you with, are all powerful reasons for holding fast to those wedding vows.

Wedding Boquet

It was also, just as I had done for Lizzie and Lewis, about love that I wanted to write this poem for the newly-weds:

When Love Comes

Who may stand against love when it comes?
For it rushes with fervour into our hearts,
breathlessly catching hold of the other’s hand.
Tingling with electric sparks, causing
laughter to bubble up and burst.
Still smiling inward to hug a new secret
between two souls.

Who can unlock the mystery of love?
That makes tentative enquiry of
feelings, unexpected, yet welcome.
That hesitates to speak out loud,
yet knows spontaneously that this
is the one – its confirmation sealed
by the infinite band of earth’s riches

Who denies the power of love?
In gentle caress of skin against skin.
Yet ferocious as a roaring lion,
fiercely protective of the other,
declaring mutual respect and care,
that selflessly offers itself up.

Who has the fortitude to resist love?
That holds strong to bear tragedy,
overcoming life’s sadness;
stretched and strained from time to time.
Which seeks its boundaries;
nonetheless, drawing back
to the very core of its existence.

Who can weigh the worth of love?
More precious than man’s treasure trove
of glittering trinkets and trifles.
Daring to dream dreams and
crystallising hopes for the future.
Selflessly deepening its roots
allowing each to flourish and be built up.

Who can but rejoice in the joy of love?
Expressed in vows that set a seal
between two hearts.
Union in sacred, ancient ceremony;
that offers friendship twixt families.
Celebrated and blessed
By God’s own love.

On the occasion of the marriage of Ruth Galvin and Josh Gallocker – 30th June 2018

Wedding Group

 

 

 

Coming Out… Into The Light

Does God weep over his creation?

Does God weep over his creation?

Recently, after much prayerful thought I have reached what I believe is a clarity in thinking with regard to something that I have often struggled to express. That is what my stance is, as a Christian and future Minister, towards those, including fellow Christians, who identify themselves as lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender men and women

I have often not expressed what my inner heart was telling me, but instead have prevaricated, choosing to be cautious with my public expressions and feeling deeply hypocritical for not speaking out

However, events, both recently within the Church of England and in our world as a whole, have left me with a sense of both shame and despair.

I have struggled to reconcile what I understand to be the most basic tenet of my faith, namely love, and the many interpretations of what that should look like in respect of people whose sexuality differs from my own.

The love that we are called to is quite simple – we are to love God and we are to love each other. For this love to be genuine is indubitable, but in both cases, we have to be wary of discriminating and categorising exactly what this love should look like; how it might be expressed and who may partake of it, whether in long-term relationships, through marriage or through celibacy

I am aware that there are many who look to Scripture and yet only use isolated and often disjointed biblical passages to justify their position and I would affirm that Scripture as a whole contains all truths; but I would have to wonder whether we only worship a God who remains firmly in Old Testament attitudes and early Judaeo-Christian life-styles or a God that lives and is part of the 21st century, with all its challenges, changes and nuances. Has God not accompanied humanity in the last two millennia? Has he not wept and rejoiced, listened and guided? Does he not know what is happening?

Others speak of alternative sexuality as sinful and unforgivable; and again I would be loath to apply this label to what could be considered part of the human condition. Particularly as this is not helpful, especially in light of the message of open-ended grace and forgiveness for all, regardless of any measure of rebellious sinfulness. Who is to say what God does and does not see in us as a whole person – did David (murderer and adulterer) or Jacob (lier and cheat) not receive God’s grace for their devotion to God rather than for what other people judged them by? It is surely our faith that makes the difference

As a professed heterosexual, I cannot begin to say I know what it feels like to have your faith questioned or to be regarded as less worthy because of your sexuality – to know that despite being created in God’s image, that others consider it a tarnished reflection – to have to settle for something less because someone has decided you don’t meet all the ‘criteria’. Yet, I do recognise that the pain and hurt must sometimes be unbearable and for that I willingly offer my support in prayer and in love

And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome
but kindly to everyone, an apt teacher,
patient, correcting opponents with gentleness.
God may perhaps grant that they will repent
and come to know the truth
2 Timothy 2:24-25

I know that on reading this, despite my heartfelt attempt to show sensitivity for all concerned, that some Christians will regard what I say as wrong, that they may even regard me in a different light. There will be those who have already made their mind up, who will reject these and other valid arguments completely; and whilst I must respect that decision, whether made on a personal level or as a church directive, at the same time I will be hoping that they too, like many others will be open to a similar journey as mine. When they find that they can no longer sit on the fence or through prayer and soul-searching be ready to admit that when we are called to love as God loves us then we should do so completely and honestly and be ready to treat all equally

Until then may God bless all who love the Lord our God with all their heart, and with all their soul, and with all their strength, and with all their mind; and also their neighbour as themselves. Amen

Brothers and Sisters in Christ

What Is This Love?

What is this love?

What is this love?

Please allow me a moment of self-indulgence as we celebrate my daughter and son-in-law’s first wedding anniversary. Lizzie and Lewis were married at St John the Evangelist in Hedge End on Saturday 4th August 2012 and it’s hard to believe that their first year of married life has passed so quickly.

The day itself was such a joyous occasion when we were joined by family and friends to see them blessed not only by God but by all the love that surrounded them

To be sure, marital relationships are not always easy – when the first flush of romance has subsided the hard slog of getting to know each other takes over – finding out what the other likes to eat (*my mother makes the best Yorkshire puddings!); their sleeping habits (your snoring has woken up the neighbour’s baby!); their shopping habits (it’s not the size of your bottom I’m worried about but the hideous colour!); discovering our little foibles (of course I’ve left enough time to get ready!) – but enough about my marriage!

* things to try not to say

What we hope in time within marriage is that our relationship not only with each other but also with God becomes stronger and deeper, because let’s not forget he is part of the relationship as well; and that the love that brought us together will be transformed into a reflection of His love

Happy anniversary Lizzie and Lewis!

What is this love?
a poem written especially for the occasion of their wedding

What is this love?
If not a union when two are joined
in marital estate;
blessed by church and heaven;
strengthened by propitious wishes –
of hope on a journey of discovery

A love springing from the vine,
that sent forth exploratory tendrils
outwards to bind seamlessly –
and then thrusting skyward
in reciprocal ambition,
all the while anchored securely
by the root of Jesse

A love sublime;
honoured by innocence,
yet enflamed by passions
deep within each other;
blossoming like perfect rosebuds –
so tightly curled to unfurl
in velvet beauty; sweetly scented.

It is a love that knows patience
and forbearance,
that acts in kindness,
respectful of each other’s needs –
that forgives completely
and remembers not the cause.

A steadfast love, bound
in mutual trust and respect;
accepting of its own vulnerability
to hurts and wrongs,
yet still spills forth exuberantly
to gladden each heart and
lighten the world it touches

This is a love that seizes the moment
to add memories to life’s album of adventure.
Sharing smiles and tears
which will build a storehouse
of life-enhancing experiences,
guided by the Spirit’s compass

What is this love?
So jubilant in its supremacy,
yet bends its will to another
of great power and gentle nature ;
that bridges time and space
of one love – eternal.