Tag Archives: Marriage

Replacing Law With Grace

from-law-to-grace

Replacing Law with Grace

There are times when the Law is important and there are times when it needs to be replaced with Grace; whether it is to make a point or whether it is part of the way we need to live.

Readings: Isaiah 58:9-14 & Luke 13:10-17

May I speak and may you hear through the Grace of our Lord; Father, Son or Holy Spirit. Amen

Let me start by asking you three questions, and please don’t think you have to confess anything out loud. Have you ever broken the law? If so what were the circumstances? Do you feel you were justified in breaking the law?

No doubt a great many of us can probably answer yes, I admit that I probably do it quite frequently when I exceed the speed limit, and a recent survey in the Telegraph newspaper found that ‘millions of people who declare themselves innocent law abiding citizens actually commit around seven crimes a week’, with the most common offences being speeding, texting or talking while driving, dropping litter, riding bicycles on the pavement, parking on pavements or not cleaning up their dog’s poo!

It seems that people are not at all bothered about committing what they consider ‘minor’ crimes, because so many people are breaking these laws that they have almost become legal. Even so, it still depends on what sort of law you may have broken. Was it a law established to protect people and uphold society, one that carried a defined punishment in breaking it? Or was it a rule created for a particular group for a particular time? And how is that law being upheld?

In Isaiah we hear about the exiles’ complaint about God’s perceived lack of response to their prayers. However, the basis of their worship is that of self-interest – what they can get out of it, rather than opening their lives to God’s presence with them and the promise of God’s grace to transform them.

The covenants and the Laws that had been handed down to them were not wrong or unnecessary, but were part of the journey that God was taking humankind on towards complete reconciliation. The Old covenants would be superseded by the New Covenant that was Jesus. They were not separate goals for each group of people to aim for, but one goal. The difference being between the journey and destination; between the interim and the ultimate.

God’s meeting with Moses on Mount Sinai was the supreme revelation of himself in the Old Testament. The laws, the rules, the regulations that were handed down were relevant to what was happening to people at the time – the food laws, the hygiene laws, the clothing laws,  the laws of possession, the laws of laws – all made perfect sense for an itinerant band of travellers to provide protection, both physical and spiritual. However, the physical can never contain the reality of God.

The perceived wrathful, vengeful, inaccessible character of God would go on to be revealed anew in the gloriously accessible person of Jesus. Condemnation would be swallowed up in love and forgiveness.

In this morning’s gospel our focus it not centred on God’s power to heal –the fact that the women was restored to full health was almost a given; just one of many examples we have of Jesus’ power to heal throughout the New Testament. Nor is it concerned with the importance or value of the Law – Jesus himself declares in Matthew’s gospel, that he has not come to abolish the Law, but to fulfil it; adding that ‘truly I tell you, until heaven and earth pass away, not one letter, not one stroke of a letter, will pass form the law until all is accomplished.’

 ‘Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets;
I have come not to abolish but to fulfil’
Matthew 5:17

The Law of Moses may seem irrelevant to twenty first century Christians, laws such as don’t shave your face, don’t eat shellfish, don’t do any work on the Sabbath, and we consciously choose to disregard them. Even so, the law still remains, and, it is the same God as then as is now that we follow. In many cases the laws remain right, but it is how they are being used that is the nub. Is the law being used as an instrument of condemnation or as an instrument of grace

In this particular narrative, those who use it to condemn are ‘hypocrites’, masquerading as agents of a gracious God while being nothing of the sort. Jesus’ action demonstrates grace, his power to heal and all the while bears the fruit of God being praised in the response of the woman. The action has led to the Sabbath being honoured.

Jesus was rebuked because he dared to heal on the Sabbath or Holy Day – an action that was considered ‘work’. If he’d waited till the next day he’d have been fine, but he insisted that no one’s suffering should be prolonged just for the sake of the law. If good can be done today then it shouldn’t be postponed until tomorrow.

The synagogue official was putting the system of law above the individual, but in Christianity the individual comes before the system and it is fair to say that democracy itself would not exist without Christianity. Civilisation has developed based on the relationship of the individual to the system. But all too often the social system takes on a life of its own and swallows up the individual. As the theologian William Barclay says, ‘Should those Christian values start to disappear from political and economic life then we can only look forward to a totalitarian state where people exist not for their own sake but simply for the sake of the system’.

This, therefore, is the big wide world in which we all have to live in, but what about the world within the church. How do we react to those whose only concern is that of Church governance, that consider the method more important than worship of God or service to others. Even more worrying is those who seek only to condemn because of a narrow-minded and blinkered interpretation of what God wants us to do rather than applying the grace that God offers to everyone.

The law doesn’t bind us to what we should  or shouldn’t do on the Sabbath or any other day. In fact the law shouldn’t be a bind at all. Laws are created  and upheld to protect us, to guide us and to enable us to make the right choices. And we do have a choice. We can ask ourselves is this something that is immutable or does my love and knowledge of God allow me to break or remove it all together.

Does our respect for the present position of the church on matters such as marriage, divorce, disability, homosexuality preclude us from recognising God’s grace for these situations and the individuals they affect.

When the law changes around us how do we react as Christians? Think of some of the things that have happened within many of our lifetimes. From the apparently mundane decision to allow shops to open and trade on a Sunday, to the well-considered remarriage of divorcees in church, the full inclusion of those considered disabled in some way, to the current impasse over the pain and suffering that has been and continues to be inflicted on members of the LBGTI community by certain Christian theologies and biblical interpretations. Where has the love and compassion that flows from God’s grace been in all of this?

If we honour God with our rituals so must we also honour God in our lives. So rather than break the law let us always instead replace it with the law of grace.  Amen

creation and grace

Wedding Vows

Wedding couple

The year 2018 was full of new and exciting events in our family, amongst which was the wedding of our youngest daughter, Ruth, to her fiancé, Josh. Not only are weddings great social occasions, when distant family and friends make that special effort to come together, but they are also the start of what we all hope will be a lifelong journey of discovering what being married really means using the promises and vows that you make on that day to be your yardstick.

Later this morning I will be conducting a special service for a couple who are renewing those vows after 50 years of marriage and who want to thank God for the blessings they have received over those years. Of course, vows are not all about expecting only the good things to happen – for better, for richer and in health, but include the possibility of for worse, for poorer and in sickness.

Entering marriage knowing that it will bring the likelihood of both opposites means that you can be prepared to weather the difficult times and celebrate the joyous ones, because underpinning it all will be the love that first brought you together

 And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three;
and the greatest of these is love
1 Corinthians 13:13

The love that you have for each other; the love of your family and friends; the love that God blesses you with, are all powerful reasons for holding fast to those wedding vows.

Wedding Boquet

It was also, just as I had done for Lizzie and Lewis, about love that I wanted to write this poem for the newly-weds:

When Love Comes

Who may stand against love when it comes?
For it rushes with fervour into our hearts,
breathlessly catching hold of the other’s hand.
Tingling with electric sparks, causing
laughter to bubble up and burst.
Still smiling inward to hug a new secret
between two souls.

Who can unlock the mystery of love?
That makes tentative enquiry of
feelings, unexpected, yet welcome.
That hesitates to speak out loud,
yet knows spontaneously that this
is the one – its confirmation sealed
by the infinite band of earth’s riches

Who denies the power of love?
In gentle caress of skin against skin.
Yet ferocious as a roaring lion,
fiercely protective of the other,
declaring mutual respect and care,
that selflessly offers itself up.

Who has the fortitude to resist love?
That holds strong to bear tragedy,
overcoming life’s sadness;
stretched and strained from time to time.
Which seeks its boundaries;
nonetheless, drawing back
to the very core of its existence.

Who can weigh the worth of love?
More precious than man’s treasure trove
of glittering trinkets and trifles.
Daring to dream dreams and
crystallising hopes for the future.
Selflessly deepening its roots
allowing each to flourish and be built up.

Who can but rejoice in the joy of love?
Expressed in vows that set a seal
between two hearts.
Union in sacred, ancient ceremony;
that offers friendship twixt families.
Celebrated and blessed
By God’s own love.

On the occasion of the marriage of Ruth Galvin and Josh Gallocker – 30th June 2018

Wedding Group

 

 

 

Coming Out… Into The Light

Does God weep over his creation?

Does God weep over his creation?

Recently, after much prayerful thought I have reached what I believe is a clarity in thinking with regard to something that I have often struggled to express. That is what my stance is, as a Christian and future Minister, towards those, including fellow Christians, who identify themselves as lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender men and women

I have often not expressed what my inner heart was telling me, but instead have prevaricated, choosing to be cautious with my public expressions and feeling deeply hypocritical for not speaking out

However, events, both recently within the Church of England and in our world as a whole, have left me with a sense of both shame and despair.

I have struggled to reconcile what I understand to be the most basic tenet of my faith, namely love, and the many interpretations of what that should look like in respect of people whose sexuality differs from my own.

The love that we are called to is quite simple – we are to love God and we are to love each other. For this love to be genuine is indubitable, but in both cases, we have to be wary of discriminating and categorising exactly what this love should look like; how it might be expressed and who may partake of it, whether in long-term relationships, through marriage or through celibacy

I am aware that there are many who look to Scripture and yet only use isolated and often disjointed biblical passages to justify their position and I would affirm that Scripture as a whole contains all truths; but I would have to wonder whether we only worship a God who remains firmly in Old Testament attitudes and early Judaeo-Christian life-styles or a God that lives and is part of the 21st century, with all its challenges, changes and nuances. Has God not accompanied humanity in the last two millennia? Has he not wept and rejoiced, listened and guided? Does he not know what is happening?

Others speak of alternative sexuality as sinful and unforgivable; and again I would be loath to apply this label to what could be considered part of the human condition. Particularly as this is not helpful, especially in light of the message of open-ended grace and forgiveness for all, regardless of any measure of rebellious sinfulness. Who is to say what God does and does not see in us as a whole person – did David (murderer and adulterer) or Jacob (lier and cheat) not receive God’s grace for their devotion to God rather than for what other people judged them by? It is surely our faith that makes the difference

As a professed heterosexual, I cannot begin to say I know what it feels like to have your faith questioned or to be regarded as less worthy because of your sexuality – to know that despite being created in God’s image, that others consider it a tarnished reflection – to have to settle for something less because someone has decided you don’t meet all the ‘criteria’. Yet, I do recognise that the pain and hurt must sometimes be unbearable and for that I willingly offer my support in prayer and in love

And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome
but kindly to everyone, an apt teacher,
patient, correcting opponents with gentleness.
God may perhaps grant that they will repent
and come to know the truth
2 Timothy 2:24-25

I know that on reading this, despite my heartfelt attempt to show sensitivity for all concerned, that some Christians will regard what I say as wrong, that they may even regard me in a different light. There will be those who have already made their mind up, who will reject these and other valid arguments completely; and whilst I must respect that decision, whether made on a personal level or as a church directive, at the same time I will be hoping that they too, like many others will be open to a similar journey as mine. When they find that they can no longer sit on the fence or through prayer and soul-searching be ready to admit that when we are called to love as God loves us then we should do so completely and honestly and be ready to treat all equally

Until then may God bless all who love the Lord our God with all their heart, and with all their soul, and with all their strength, and with all their mind; and also their neighbour as themselves. Amen

Brothers and Sisters in Christ

What Is This Love?

What is this love?

What is this love?

Please allow me a moment of self-indulgence as we celebrate my daughter and son-in-law’s first wedding anniversary. Lizzie and Lewis were married at St John the Evangelist in Hedge End on Saturday 4th August 2012 and it’s hard to believe that their first year of married life has passed so quickly.

The day itself was such a joyous occasion when we were joined by family and friends to see them blessed not only by God but by all the love that surrounded them

To be sure, marital relationships are not always easy – when the first flush of romance has subsided the hard slog of getting to know each other takes over – finding out what the other likes to eat (*my mother makes the best Yorkshire puddings!); their sleeping habits (your snoring has woken up the neighbour’s baby!); their shopping habits (it’s not the size of your bottom I’m worried about but the hideous colour!); discovering our little foibles (of course I’ve left enough time to get ready!) – but enough about my marriage!

* things to try not to say

What we hope in time within marriage is that our relationship not only with each other but also with God becomes stronger and deeper, because let’s not forget he is part of the relationship as well; and that the love that brought us together will be transformed into a reflection of His love

Happy anniversary Lizzie and Lewis!

What is this love?
a poem written especially for the occasion of their wedding

What is this love?
If not a union when two are joined
in marital estate;
blessed by church and heaven;
strengthened by propitious wishes –
of hope on a journey of discovery

A love springing from the vine,
that sent forth exploratory tendrils
outwards to bind seamlessly –
and then thrusting skyward
in reciprocal ambition,
all the while anchored securely
by the root of Jesse

A love sublime;
honoured by innocence,
yet enflamed by passions
deep within each other;
blossoming like perfect rosebuds –
so tightly curled to unfurl
in velvet beauty; sweetly scented.

It is a love that knows patience
and forbearance,
that acts in kindness,
respectful of each other’s needs –
that forgives completely
and remembers not the cause.

A steadfast love, bound
in mutual trust and respect;
accepting of its own vulnerability
to hurts and wrongs,
yet still spills forth exuberantly
to gladden each heart and
lighten the world it touches

This is a love that seizes the moment
to add memories to life’s album of adventure.
Sharing smiles and tears
which will build a storehouse
of life-enhancing experiences,
guided by the Spirit’s compass

What is this love?
So jubilant in its supremacy,
yet bends its will to another
of great power and gentle nature ;
that bridges time and space
of one love – eternal.