Tag Archives: Peter

Seeds of New Life

Seeds and Bread

Seeds and Bread

Except a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, 
it remains alone. But if it dies, it bears much fruit’
John 12:24

 On Monday in Holy Week our church holds an informal communion and this year we were reminded of the seeds of hope and the bread of life through the beautiful liturgy of Dorothy McRae-McMahon from her book Liturgies for the Journey of Life published by SPCK

This simple and reflective service allowed us space to offer our prayers where we believed we saw the signs of the seeds of new life, however small, by placing the single seeds we had been given at the beginning of the service onto Christ’s table, where seeds are turned into bread, as we named the sign we saw and the hope we have

Also to quietly listen to Psalm 42:1-9 and to hear the Gospel through a meditative reading I had prepared based on John 12:1-11.

 Seeds of New Life

It seems incredible that we’re all here together again. It fact it is far beyond incredible and yet I must somehow believe it. Look at them all – relaxing and enjoying the meal that Martha has prepared for us. My wonderful, hardworking sister Martha – not at all as bossy as she appears but kind-hearted and generous, and so very grateful to the man who is our guest of honour this evening.

An honoured guest indeed, and yet he has become one of the family, certainly no airs and graces, just a gentle and humble presence. As I catch his eye, he smiles at me, a look of genuine love – and yet just a few weeks ago it could have been so very different.

Silence

Then I was aware that my illness had taken such a grip on me that my family was beyond hope, and yet they still had faith that he would come. They had tried to hide their tears from me, but I still heard them sobbing as the night passed and I felt myself slipping away to death and to nothingness. ..

… That was until I heard his voice, telling me to come out; but out from where? Everything seemed muffled until I realised that my whole body had been wrapped in cloths for my grave, yet the insistence in his voice gave me a sense of urgency and so I stumbled into the bright light before falling at his feet.

As I said, beyond belief… and yet I do believe.

Silence

Many of his travelling companions are with him tonight. They’ve stopped here in Bethany on their way to Jerusalem for the Passover Festival. I can hear Peter, with his loud, gruff voice cheerfully retelling stories of what they’ve been up to since we last met, and Thomas – careful, thoughtful Thomas – listening intently, and occasionally interjecting to correct some small inaccuracy of what Peter is saying, which Peter takes in good humour.

On the other side of the room, I can see Judas, looking as if he’s brooding about something. I often wonder what it was that Jesus saw in him when he called him to be one of the disciples. They say he’s good at making the small amount of money they have stretch just that little bit further, although they often seem short of cash. Still God provides for them somehow.

Silence

And at least we’ve been able to provide some warm food and plenty to drink; and Martha hasn’t had to scold Mary too much to get her to help get things ready. I can see Mary now, sitting right in amongst those nearest to him. She been so excited since she knew he was coming, full of smiles as if keeping a secret but trying not to let it burst out.

Suddenly it’s as if the room has been transported to the middle of Solomon’s garden of delights; the air heavy with a strong fragrance, familiar and yet unfamiliar. Of course… it’s nard, that purest of perfumes and also one of the most expensive. That must have been what Mary was hiding and it must have cost her a great deal, at least 300 denarii – a most precious gift indeed.

Silence

A gift that she has broken open and is now using to anoint his feet; an act of pure devotion, yet one which I can see is making her sorrowful as tears roll down her cheeks and fall on his feet, and which she wipes away with her beautiful long hair, her own glory.

The smell has obviously reached Judas’ nostrils as well, and he seems incensed, querulously asking why so much money has been wasted; that she would have been better of giving it to help the poor or maybe he wanted it in the common purse for another purpose. My dear friend was having none of it, rebuking Judas and pointing out that regrettably there would always be poor people among us, and what she has done was simply what she would do on the day of this burial. Instead we should be more worried that we might not always have him.

Silence

I wonder what he means. Perhaps he’ll soon be moving on again. Things have undoubtedly become a little more difficult. Ever since he miraculously restored me to life I have noticed that people are very confused, several of them shy away, ducking into doorways and crossing over when I walk along the streets. Still more though want to see for themselves and vast crowds of people are starting to visit our village. They too are discovering how incredible the things that he does are. It’s certainly rattling the chief priests; they don’t like to see their authority threatened.

Perhaps it’s best then that he goes away, and Mary can save the rest of the perfume till much later… Cheer up Judas, your teacher knows what he’s doing.

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A State Of Flux

State of Flux

State of Flux

Why are you so full of heaviness, O my soul, • and why are you so disquieted within me?
Psalm 42:6

Just lately I have been feeling really unsettled and I just can’t put my finger on it. On the surface nothing has obviously happened that might cause this feeling of unrest; in fact things have been falling into place and my self-confidence has been gradually increasing – but still there is a feeling of general unease.

Obviously, looking back there are many changes that have taken place in my life over the last few months; the excitement and nervousness about starting college; learning how to split my week between study and wanting to continue to serve my home church; as well as pulling back on some of my voluntary commitments. Alongside these, in my personal life, I have been rediscovering what it means to be part of a married couple, now that the girls have left home and are more or less independent.

These are all definite changes, and as I’ve written about before, change is not something to be concerned about, but is necessary for us to grow as people and in our faith. So I don’t think it’s that. Perhaps it’s more about transformation

You might say that change is actually only the events or things that we either choose or have thrust upon us, which will have an effect on us in some way. What comes out of those changes is transformation, because we will never be the same and we can never go back to being the person we were before.

This can apply to so many life events, but a vivid example, where this is clearly apparent is where death and loss are concerned. Mags Blackie in a recent post, spoke about Kay Warren, an American pastor’s wife and her family’s emotional journey through grief, following the suicide of her son. There was an expectation from people around them, that life would eventually get back to ‘normal’. However, Kay’s observation was that her true friends recognised that this wasn’t going to happen, ‘they don’t pressure their friend to be the old familiar person they’re used to; they’re willing to accept that things are different’. 

Clearly this and similar events involve huge and uncomfortable changes and where our faith is concerned, those changes might not on the surface be so obvious. If we were to look to biblical times, there are many more examples where ordinary people have come into contact with God and the changes that that entailed transformed them and their lives forever. We can think of Peter, who after meeting Jesus, was transformed from a humble fisherman to a leader of Christ’s church; or Mary Magdalene, a woman with a troubled past, but who’s devotion to Jesus transformed her into the one who was trusted to reveal his resurrection to the other apostles.

Yet none of these things happened overnight, it was something that occurred gradually, and whilst it was emerging there would often be a period when they were in a state of flux – uncertain of what was to be done but aware that it preceded a new direction for their lives.

What I am certain of is that no-one once they have come into contact with God, as creator, redeemer or sustainer can remain unchanged. So if you too are seeing changes in your lives and are feeling uncomfortable or unsure about it – just hold on in there, for all will eventually be revealed.

Perhaps for me this period of unrest is just one of those moments, when I am beginning to realise that things are irrevocably changing and that life is not going to ever be the same again. In that case, I’m going to take a deep breath and say, ‘Let the transformation continue…’

O put your trust in God; • for I will yet give him thanks,
who is the help of my countenance, and my God.
Psalm 42:7

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